ABWW Hater of the Day: Nojma Muhammad
An open letter of apology to Black Men in hopes of Reconciliation. : ThyBlackMan.com.
Do you know what is wrong with the black community? Black women. Although black women did not institute the crack:cocaine drug policy, did not create deindustrialization,we did not create predatory lending & ghetto loans, did not create the backlash against affirmative action, did not create Federal Housing Adminstration policy of redlining and devaluing black property, we did not create the banking crisis of that 1980’s that ended the black banking system, yet we are the cause of the breakdown of the black family and community according to Nojma Muhammad.
According to Ms. Muhammad we need to get down on our knees and beg forgiveness for our independent ways, for not putting the needs and desires of black men first and most importantly thinking that our reproductive organs are our own property. If Ms. Muhammad wants to live her life this way then more power to her, but if she thinks that wholesale prostration to black men will do a damn thing but give a sister rug burn, she is sadly mistaken. She fails to take into account that black women have some the highest rates of rape & sexual abuse in this country, we earn less and we are incarcerated more than other women in this country. Will apologizing to the baby daddy who has three other baby mamma instantly make him into a exemplary parent and provider? Will saying “I’m sorry, brother” stop the misogynist trend in black male popular culture? Will going up to random men on the street and offering them you womb stop the almost three times rate of out-marriage? Will prostrating in perpetuity stop the rates of domestic violence in our community? I would venture to guess HELLS NO! The churches & mosques are filled with single black women willing to submit to black men.
Black men need to work on themselves & find a semblance of manhood that does not involve degrading and defaming black women and using that as excuse to continue bad behavior. Here is my challenge to black men start fighting the systemic racism that plagues our community, fight to get education, employment, fairness in criminal justice and political system and stop blaming your status in this country on us! Maybe then we can discuss this so called “reconciliation.”
Angry Black Woman Watch 
I guess that you do not call yourself angry for nothing. 🙂
But as to the letter, it’s not entirely disagreeable. The lesson is that the Black woman should stay by the Black man all the while. Now, I can understand where you write that the “Black man” has his slew of crimes and lapses in morality, but I think that I should leave that to what Frederick Douglass said of Martin Delany:
“I wake up each morning and say, thank God I am a man, whereas Delany wakes up and says thank God I am a black man.”
I teach that in Western culture, most people are pretty deplorable; but I also teach that in our culture, oh how beautiful we are. 🙂
Hotep!
Black women have always stuck by black men we raise their kids, a majority still date black only & we do not perpetrate a popular culture that demeans, defamames & demoralizes black women. I have reasons to be miffed.
Sister Nojma spends every day of her life for the uplift and resurrection of Black People. We have to ask ourselves, what are we doing?
I grew up in the south as a boy I saw married bw having extramartial affairs with wm behind their husband’s back. Even Merlee Evers said in her book, for us the living, that many bw acquiesced to the wm’s sexual advances and kept it a secret from husbands, thats medger ever’s wife. Anne Moody in her book growing up in mississippi said that many bw were laying up with the wm behind their husband’s back, she’s a bw saying this. My uncles have told me the same thing. This is the reason I dont really trust bw, and im not the only bm that feels that way.
You don’t trust black women because we are whores? Please take that mess to Bossip.
This is true but I must say that the powers that be are fascilitating a war amongst us always. Whether it be skin tone, hair texture, being independent, or video whores we fall into the traps and so do the men
Just referred to your post in a Twitter post about Steve Harvey’s, ‘Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man’…interviews, and upcoming movie.
@ThinkLikeAMan @SteveHarvey @ZenMamaPolitic
Liked this article so much..had to post it. And this
after an all day rant in reference to the exploding media coverage of Steve Harvey, and his ‘Think Like A Man’ misogynist movie debut.
..Yeah Right! All the Single Black Women And Single Mothers Simply Cannot Believe This Smear Campaign. Conveniently forgotten are also the over 70% of Black Single Mothers. I wonder how many of those are actually without children, and willing to date? How many men are available, and want kids..not in jail..or can handle ‘the increased social strain of Black relationships’ (which is the real problem)? I wish that someone else that had studied basic Social Psychology..would also say something in reference to that very important point. It always seems to be conveniently missed somehow.
In fact; it’s one of the most important points missed by the supposed shady predatory ‘gurus’ of Single Black women….who are being railroaded into looking shallow, because they may not want relationships; or cannot find a successful one. I have tweeted several articles today, and would like for my voice to be heard.. We do not like being scapegoated, and will not be treated as objects for men that refuse to deal with the true issues. We will not allow predators to use both Single Black women and vulnerable ‘Black Boys’; as dismissable ‘toys’. We decide our standards, and deny intimidation by Patriarchal family structures. We are unique, and perfectly undefined. We are Black women. And our status in no way depends on that of relationships or perceived familial status.
Lastly..let’s look at on more issue on this subject.
‘..Black men need to work on themselves & find a semblance of manhood that does not involve degrading and defaming black women and using that as excuse to continue bad behavior. Here is my challenge to black men start fighting the systemic racism that plagues our community, fight to get education, employment, fairness in criminal justice and political system and stop blaming your status in this country on us! Maybe then we can discuss this so called “reconciliation.”
https://abww.wordpress.com/category/african-american-women/
Peace Angry Black Woman,
To give you an idea of why and what inspired my letter here is an exceprt from “The Willie Lynch Letter; The Making of a Slave”:
THE BREAKING PROCESS OF THE AFRICAN WOMAN
Take the female and run a series of tests on her to see if she will submit to your desires willingly. Test her in every way, because she is the most important factor for good economics. If she shows any sign of resistance in submitting completely to your will, do not hesitate to use the bullwhip on her to extract that last bit of [b—-] out of her. Take care not to kill her, for in doing so, you spoil good economics. When in complete submission, she will train her offsprings in the early years to submit to labor when they become of age. Understanding is the best thing. Therefore, we shall go deeper into this area of the subject matter concerning what we have produced here in this breaking process of the female nigger. We have reversed the relationship; in her natural uncivilized state, she would have a strong dependency on the uncivilized nigger male, and she would have a limited protective tendency toward her independent male offspring and would raise male offsprings to be dependent like her. Nature had provided for this type of balance. We reversed nature by burning and pulling a civilized nigger apart and bullwhipping the other to the point of death, all in her presence. By her being left alone, unprotected, with the MALE IMAGE DESTROYED, the ordeal caused her to move from her psychologically dependent state to a frozen, independent state. In this frozen, psychological state of independence, she will raise her MALE and female offspring in reversed roles. For FEAR of the young male’s life, she will psychologically train him to be MENTALLY WEAK and DEPENDENT, but PHYSICALLY STRONG. Because she has become psychologically independent, she will train her FEMALE offsprings to be psychologically independent. What have you got? You’ve got the nigger WOMAN OUT FRONT AND THE nigger MAN BEHIND AND SCARED. This is a perfect situation of sound sleep and economics. Before the breaking process, we had to be alertly on guard at all times. Now, we can sleep soundly, for out of frozen fear his woman stands guard for us. He cannot get past her early slave-molding process. He is a good tool, now ready to be tied to the horse at a tender age. By the time a nigger boy reaches the age of sixteen, he is soundly broken in and ready for a long life of sound and efficient work and the reproduction of a unit of good labor force. Continually through the breaking of uncivilized savage niggers, by throwing the nigger female savage into a frozen psychological state of independence, by killing the protective male image, and by creating a submissive dependent mind of the nigger male slave, we have created an orbiting cycle that turns on its own axis forever, unless a phenomenon occurs and re-shifts the position of the male and female slaves. We show what we mean by example. Take the case of the two economic slave units and examine them close.
Now if you read that, you will see how the focus was placed on the Black Woman, and how the Black Man was broken down, made weak and inferior in the eyes of Black Women. When you think about welfare programs, programs like section eight……where a man can’t even be in the house with a woman…or programs that give women food, shelter,child care, and a job which leads some women to believe they don’t need a man for anything. Regarding eduation, our girls are excelling at a rapid rate, while our boys are failing at an even faster rate. Higher Education has always been more accessible for Black Women than it has been for Black Men.
There are several women who do have an “illusion of an independence”. I speak to them everyday who acutally say they don’t “need” a man, which is not true, as we need one another to continue the cycle of life. I have also spoken with women that feel that because that have a higher education, they automatically feel that they are BETTER than Black Men who don’t have an education. That is what I am referring to in my letter when I say “I have fooled myself into believing that my degrees places me degrees above you”, because again there are women that acutally believe that and discount what may be a good man, because she feels he is beneath her, then complains that there are no good men.
We can’t realistically say that the Black Woman has always held the Black Man down. There are many blog sites, articles and movies which BLACK WOMEN support that bash the Black Man and showcase him in a horrible light.
Both men and women need to first look within and examine self. It is easy to point the blame, but hard to look in the mirror. Also we need to be held accountable for our descisons and choices. Most of our desicions to be with someone is based on the superficical, whether it is a thick shape or a bank account. How often do we go deeper into the MINDS of the people we choose to be with? Instead of looking for a “mate” we look for people to “mate” with. A much needed dialog needs to take place between Black Men and Black Women, void of emotion, which will be hard, because both of us have hurt by one another. My letter was taking the first step towards dialog. I noticed on several sites, women want an apology FIRST, as if Women are COMPLETELY innocent in the destruction of the Black Family. We have ALL contributed to the destruction of the Black Family, we can call contribute to the restoration as well.
The Willie Lynch Letter is fake. The document uses too many modern phrases to be written by an antebellum slave holder. There are plenty of slave narratives by black and Caribbean women that give true accounts of the horrors of slavery. You should read Mary Prince, Mattie J. Jackson, Lucy A. Delaney or Harriet Jacobs for an authentic look of the life of black woman slave. Black people of other nationalities do not disparage their women like African Americans do.I am of Caribbean ancestry (Jamaican and Grenedian), they are a patriarchal cultures, but women are able to get an education (if they can afford it) and work without men calling them bitches & hoes. Although the drug culture is taking its toll, Caribbean men value parenthood even if they are not married to the mother of their children. The islands were subject to a chattel slavery system even more brutal that in the United States, colonization and now crippling debt but somehow families manage to stay together. In the U. S. black men & some black women heap scorn on black women who have been subject to the same harsh consequences ad black men.There is very little historical evidence the black men ever rose up to defend black women from rape and sexual assault although women like Harriet Tubman & Ida B. Wells but the treatment of black men at the forefront of their crusades. Black women do not put black men in jail in disproportionate numbers, we do not run the educational systems that fail to educate black men, black women do not throw the employment applications of black men into the trash basket, yet we are the greatest enemies black men have to face? That is complete and total BS.
my dear sister, if you would take a moment to back up from your emotions a bit, maybe you might see your sister aright. your article did a great job examining the branch issues. however, your sister nojma chooses to deal with the root and that is the only way to eradicate a problem. it surprises me that a sister that seems to be pretty intelligent can utterly miss the mark in your assessment of your sister. in actuality, she is really working to empower you with an intrinsic knowledge of your true nature as a black woman. the power to effect the ultimate change is with the black woman and this is the premise she chooses to build from. her weapon of choice to use for the redemption of our people is the reformation of the black woman. no other weapon has the power to raise or raze a world, outside of God, of coarse… but then again, that is HIS choice too!!
peace
I don’t see any message that lumps all black women together, demands that they be subservient to black men many of whom are not supporting their children or their partners, and defames black women who are forced by these circumstances to do things on their own. Black women have had to face every single tribulation that black have had with the added burden of rape & sexual exploitation. Instead of beating up on black women, work on the interlocking systems of racism and oppression that keep black men undereducated & overpopulating jails.
, “she is really working to empower you with an intrinsic knowledge of your true nature as a black woman.” -first of all, only an individual black woman can find her own nature, a female misogynist like nojma has no business using tired stereotypes of black women to tell black women anything. if anything, nojma should educate herself on sisterhood and se that there is more to the black woman than single motherhood and welfare, and perhaps, ppl like you should open their eyes and stop hiding criticism of black women under patronizing comment (“sister that seems to be pretty intelligent can utterly miss the mark in your assessment of your sister.”). You basically insulted the author of this post on a sly so i really see where you are coming from. and lastly, black ppl are not all brothers and sisters b/c we share a skin color so for all purposes nojma is not a “sister” of every black woman just b/c she is black
“… It’s all over your face, someone’s taken my place. OOh Baby I’m losing you… I don’t wanna lose you…” – Temptations
As David Ruffin so beautifully sang about losing the love of his woman to another man and feeling it when she said his name and even when they kissed. This song is reflective of how we have felt the past 450 years as you were taken away from us during the Trans-Atlantic slave trade along with the destruction of the black family (destroying the black man, corrupting of the black woman and reshaping of the black psyche to confirm western ideological thought of “Africans” ).
As a black man I am saddened to see that a beautiful sister like Nojma Muhammad would receive such an irresponsibly demeaning label as “Hater of the Day”, when she has been nothing but a fervent proponent of Black women’s rise. I don’t believe she is saying sisters should beg for our forgiveness without reciprocity. I believe she is asking sisters to look, examine and cure within so that they can shine without.–On the outside, not without a Black man of course (smile)– I am not here to bash or point fingers I am only here to ask that the anger be used as, Sister Muhammad’s anger, to set forth a place for healing and reconciliation among our people so that we can get back to building families and communities as we are supposed. Do you believe Sis. Nojma is free of harm from any Black man in any form? Do you believe that Sis. Nojma hasn’t felt anger toward Black men, hatred, malice, etc.? She has learned to channel her hostilities and pain into something positive. So she shouldn’t be “Hater of the Day” as much as she should be “Overcomer”, “Shining Example”, or “Woman of Purpose” of our Generation.
Love you much your brother,
Adisa Lamar 2x Bey
I thought the letter was absolutely beautiful and Sister Nojma ALWAYS has had a loving and brilliant pulse of the beauty of the Black Woman, Black Man, and Family,
my dear sister, if you would take a moment to back up from your emotions a bit, maybe you might see your sister aright. your article did a great job examining the branch issues. however, your sister nojma chooses to deal with the root and that is the only way to eradicate a problem. it surprises me that a sister that seems to be pretty intelligent can utterly miss the mark in your assessment of your sister. in actuality, she is really working to empower you with an intrinsic knowledge of your true nature as a black woman. the power to effect the ultimate change is with the black woman and this is the premise she chooses to build from. her weapon of choice to use for the redemption of our people is the reformation of the black woman. no other weapon has the power to raise or raze a world, outside of God, of coarse… but then again, that is HIS choice too!!
peace……Bro. Anthony Muhammad
Black women and men should NEVER have to apologize about having standards with a mate. Some men and women are NOT worthy of being brought into your circle, they are toxic and will harm you. When she started raving about ‘the enemy’ (Caucasians) I began thinking damn, most of the living black folks I know who have been exploited and abused in their personal relationships have been done so by people who share the same skin tone. I’m all for love, esp. ‘black love’ but c’mon…seriously? An enemy is someone who harbors ill intent, and they come in many guises. Romanticist ideas that ignore that there are TOXIC black folks and always have and always will be is just racist itself. It’s also insulting, that black folks don’t have the autonomy to be who they are whether well-adjusted. Always has to be ‘because of’ something. She’s also very biased towards men. I blame that on her brand of Islam which I have no doubt is informed from an NOI position. I’m willing to bet money on it #FalseIslam
It would be so much more fruitful to take all that anger, transform it into self-reflection and work on becoming a better ‘you’. Anger is self-energizing, meaning that it can only feed on itself. It’s like cancer. Forgiveness is the key to breaking the cycle of self destructive anger. Anger only eats away at YOU, not the person you’re angry at. Defending your right to be angry is as foolish as defending your right to die from cervical cancer. Free yourself from that demonic grip and practice what Christ taught: forgiveness. Then you’ll be free to cohabit with another in true peace and harmony.
A black woman’s life not filled with rainbows and unicorns. The historical and current treatment of black women is abhorrent and becoming new age gurus will not change the fact that we are struggling in every economic, demographic, health and sociological category studied. Our anger is linked has always been linked to our fight for a better life. I strongly suggest you read a book on black women’s history. Sister Citizen by Melissa Harris Perry, A Shining Thread of Hope by Darlene Clarke Hine, Labor of Love, Labor of Sorrow, historian Jacqueline Jones for starters.
becoming abhorrent? shows how mch you know. a black women’s life IS filled with rainbos and unicorns compared to black men. we all know black women are to stupid to realize when they are at fault. to much up their behinds to apologize for anything, they rather put the blame on the men. hell most of the black women are the exact causes for what you accuse black men of. the problems we face, we try to fix, the problems you face….you enhance…half these domestic violence cases are mostly the black women starting it. your one of the reasons why black men cant stay out of jail. mabe YOU should take responsibility for yourselves for once. after all, you are one of the reasons why black relationships dont last after the first date, or should i say, the first f.u.c.k.
its also funny how you talk about cocaine even tho black women use it more then any other women of any race.
Please learn to write in English. You whining would make much more sense you used correct spelling and grammar.
not the case for black men, they are not the using cocaine leaders, thats white men. ive read alot of those book. the books on black womens history is NOT even close to what black men had to endore. stop acting like your black queens when all you did is live off the struggled life of a black man and cause more problems to him. take your books and shove it.
There are so many things wrong with this gibberish, I wouldn’t know where to start. Please learn English grammar and then study history.
She obviously buys into the idea that black women are responsible for the sad state of black communities. If she wants to apologize to random black men, she has that right as long as it’s on her own behalf. Talking about whether black men or black women have endured “more” is pointless, since each gender is adversely impacted by the things that mainly impact the other. I take strong issue, though, with those among us who think that black women got an easy ride in history and even now. We are more likely than women in any other ethnicity to be killed by domestic violence, 40% of the young girls entrapped in the sex traffic in this country are black, and rape which is already an underreported crime is even more underreported by black girls and women. It’s partly because we don’t want to contribute to the prevalent stereotype of black men as rapists, and because of that, those rapists among us are too often not held accountable. Our concerns are too often brushed off as being unimportant, when addressing them is as critical to black unity as addressing those of black men and boys. It’s wrong and dangerous, to present black progress as either male or female, which it should be both male AND female. Anything else is self-defeating.