ABBW Question of the Day: Why is the media so obsessed with single, educated black women?
My theory is that this trend was incited by the cognitive dissonance of having a woman like Michelle Obama for First Lady. Men as talented as Barak Obama are in the forefront of marrying out and his choice of an elegant, beautiful, educated black woman who is such an exemplar that disturbs the deeply ingrained stereotypes of black women and has most Americans in a psychological tizzy. The fact that the majority of women who are like Michelle are unmarried threatens the idea of a post racial America in way that most are unable to digest. The racial sexism that places white women as the icon of ideal femininity and black women as the “mules of the world” is challenged by educated black women and is puzzling to mainstream America. The majority of Americans have never looked honestly at the diversity and accomplishments of black women and are puzzled at the fact that we have had a different path that non-white women. Thus the questions about marriage are childbearing obsessively investigated without bothering to learn about the history, socioeconomic and racial gendered obstacles we have overcome. So instead of examining the dehumanization and brutality suffered by black women throughout the centuries and how we have overcome it all, it is easier to make us media fodder that can be easily consumed and thrown away.
The comments after most news stories and blogs fall into several categories:
1- “Black women are blah, blah, blah.” These posts usually are extremely insulting and blame black women for all the racially gendered prejudice that is heaped on us.
2- “Why don’t black women out marry like black men? “These answers range from naivete to offensive. They refuse to take into account that black women were sexually exploited for centuries and derided for their differences from ideal white womanhood.
3-” I am a single, black 35 year old with a good job and cannot find a good black woman.” This guy has problems, stay way from him like he had the plague. His complains are nonsensical, there are more black women than men, way too many black men in jail and there are more educated black women than men and black women come in all sizes and colors, yet there is no one out there for him. I’m glad.
4- “I am a white woman married to a black man…..” These women contend that their relationships are all about love and never contemplate the fact that despite the woman’s movement they are still the world’s default category for beauty. I would like them to consider this why is it that since the Loving decision, black women outmarry at much lower rates than white women. Have we suddenly got less loveable?
5- “I don’t care, God will provide a man for me” God helps those who help themselves, nuff said.
None of this at ABWW. This blog will be a vanguard against black women hateration and a shelter against all the he-man-black-woman-hateration and sister self hate.